
“…Accept the certainty / That thou hast borne proportion in my bliss.” – G.M. Hopkins
A long-time friend, celebrating an anniversary of several years with her husband, recently asked which music I found most “romantic,” or best suited to celebrating a love that has endured amid any number of corrosive cultural forces. She hoped for suggestions, and I had many: Classical music’s bounty is inexhaustible, and taps currents of feeling for which words are inadequate.
She may have felt I was uniquely qualified, considering that my college roommate and I revved our adrenaline into overdrive before nights on the town by singing the roles of the Commendatore, Don Giovanni and Leporello, at times mixing our singing into a heady blend of Mozart and AC/DC. (Don Giovanni finds his own highway to hell, of course, by defying the Commendatore’s demands for repentance; my roommate and I often defied our neighbors’ demands for a little peace and quiet.)
(As a sidebar, for those who distort romantic love by subscribing to the Playboy Philosophy, Don Giovanni is instructive. “We fly to Beauty,” says Ralph Waldo Emerson, “as an asylum from the terrors of finite nature.” The Don strives figuratively to outwit death and its terrible finitude by seeking to achieve immortality through the perpetuity of his seed, spread by endless erotic conquests. As music marks time, so the Don marks his efforts to efface time by encyclopedically tallying his conquests, enumerating thousands of women in a “big black book” kept by Leporello. But there are only so many women, and so many moments in time; all of his conquests will become dead names on a dead page, and so the Don’s ravenous appetite works overtime to find replacements. Death and time will not be outfoxed: The dead Commendatore, the father of one of the Don's victims, arises as a living, towering statue to inform the Don that his time of reckoning is near. A figure of the Don’s past, the Commendatore proves that one’s past becomes a ruinous future if one fails to repent in the present. Mozart consigns Don Giovanni to the flames of hell, breathing musical life into Brahms’s apothegm that “life robs one of more than death does.”)

Back to my friend: She would find her answer in a gleaming quarry of centuries of music, whose inestimable rewards have become a part of me, sounding in my mind every day of my life. Who can forget Tamino’s outpouring of love, gazing on Pamina’s picture, in The Magic Flute; the gauzy tapestry of strings and harps of the Adagietto of Mahler’s Fifth Symphony, composed as a “love letter” to Mahler’s wife; the twilit innerscape of Tristan and Isolde’s liebesnacht when their selves, emptied, strive to merge with each other and with the Godhead; or Siegmund and Sieglinde’s duet, in Act I of Wagner’s Die Walkure, which Wagner, whose massive genius excused his equally monumental immodesty, believed was the most beautiful music yet composed?
You are the spring
for which I longed
in the frosty winter…
You I recognized
plain and clear;
when my eyes beheld you,
you belonged to me.
What I hid in my heart,
what I am, emerged as light as day…
You are the likeness
that I hid in myself.
Of Act I of Die Walkure, Bryan Magee writes, “Not only utterly abandoned love but the disconcerting...vulnerability that go with it are uninhibitedly expressed. It is as if the living creatureliness of these emotional beings has been skinned: the intensity of their experience borders on the intolerable...what reaches us in the audience is something that has never before found expression in art.”
Just so, Arnold Schoenberg’s incandescent Transfigured Night, set to poems by Richard Dehmel, depicts, in the lushest sonorities, a springtime of redemption in a cold night. A pregnant woman is alone in a moonlit forest; her lover arrives and learns that the child she is carrying is not his. The man responds that the child, transfigured by their love, will become the child of that love, “by this miracle in the night.” Forgiveness and transfiguration, and beauty of the highest power, finally reign in the night.
Wagner’s Flying Dutchman is forever questing for his ideal mate. Mahler, setting portions of Goethe’s Faust to music, in his Eighth Symphony, alights upon the Eternal Feminine as a theme. Feminine muses were sources of boundless inspiration for Wagner, whose incredible Wesendonck Lieder were inspired by the second-rate poetry of a patron’s wife. Wagner’s most human, and beguilingly gentle, composition, Siegfried Idyll, was composed by the light of his wife Cosima’s love, as a birthday present for her. And the Adagio of Brahms’s First Piano Concerto combines pathos and autumnal tenderness in equal measure. In dedicating it to the widow of Robert Schumann, Brahms wrote: “I am painting a tender portrait of you.” And so it is.
A long-time friend, celebrating an anniversary of several years with her husband, recently asked which music I found most “romantic,” or best suited to celebrating a love that has endured amid any number of corrosive cultural forces. She hoped for suggestions, and I had many: Classical music’s bounty is inexhaustible, and taps currents of feeling for which words are inadequate.
She may have felt I was uniquely qualified, considering that my college roommate and I revved our adrenaline into overdrive before nights on the town by singing the roles of the Commendatore, Don Giovanni and Leporello, at times mixing our singing into a heady blend of Mozart and AC/DC. (Don Giovanni finds his own highway to hell, of course, by defying the Commendatore’s demands for repentance; my roommate and I often defied our neighbors’ demands for a little peace and quiet.)
(As a sidebar, for those who distort romantic love by subscribing to the Playboy Philosophy, Don Giovanni is instructive. “We fly to Beauty,” says Ralph Waldo Emerson, “as an asylum from the terrors of finite nature.” The Don strives figuratively to outwit death and its terrible finitude by seeking to achieve immortality through the perpetuity of his seed, spread by endless erotic conquests. As music marks time, so the Don marks his efforts to efface time by encyclopedically tallying his conquests, enumerating thousands of women in a “big black book” kept by Leporello. But there are only so many women, and so many moments in time; all of his conquests will become dead names on a dead page, and so the Don’s ravenous appetite works overtime to find replacements. Death and time will not be outfoxed: The dead Commendatore, the father of one of the Don's victims, arises as a living, towering statue to inform the Don that his time of reckoning is near. A figure of the Don’s past, the Commendatore proves that one’s past becomes a ruinous future if one fails to repent in the present. Mozart consigns Don Giovanni to the flames of hell, breathing musical life into Brahms’s apothegm that “life robs one of more than death does.”)

Back to my friend: She would find her answer in a gleaming quarry of centuries of music, whose inestimable rewards have become a part of me, sounding in my mind every day of my life. Who can forget Tamino’s outpouring of love, gazing on Pamina’s picture, in The Magic Flute; the gauzy tapestry of strings and harps of the Adagietto of Mahler’s Fifth Symphony, composed as a “love letter” to Mahler’s wife; the twilit innerscape of Tristan and Isolde’s liebesnacht when their selves, emptied, strive to merge with each other and with the Godhead; or Siegmund and Sieglinde’s duet, in Act I of Wagner’s Die Walkure, which Wagner, whose massive genius excused his equally monumental immodesty, believed was the most beautiful music yet composed?
You are the spring
for which I longed
in the frosty winter…
You I recognized
plain and clear;
when my eyes beheld you,
you belonged to me.
What I hid in my heart,
what I am, emerged as light as day…
You are the likeness
that I hid in myself.
Of Act I of Die Walkure, Bryan Magee writes, “Not only utterly abandoned love but the disconcerting...vulnerability that go with it are uninhibitedly expressed. It is as if the living creatureliness of these emotional beings has been skinned: the intensity of their experience borders on the intolerable...what reaches us in the audience is something that has never before found expression in art.”
Just so, Arnold Schoenberg’s incandescent Transfigured Night, set to poems by Richard Dehmel, depicts, in the lushest sonorities, a springtime of redemption in a cold night. A pregnant woman is alone in a moonlit forest; her lover arrives and learns that the child she is carrying is not his. The man responds that the child, transfigured by their love, will become the child of that love, “by this miracle in the night.” Forgiveness and transfiguration, and beauty of the highest power, finally reign in the night.
Wagner’s Flying Dutchman is forever questing for his ideal mate. Mahler, setting portions of Goethe’s Faust to music, in his Eighth Symphony, alights upon the Eternal Feminine as a theme. Feminine muses were sources of boundless inspiration for Wagner, whose incredible Wesendonck Lieder were inspired by the second-rate poetry of a patron’s wife. Wagner’s most human, and beguilingly gentle, composition, Siegfried Idyll, was composed by the light of his wife Cosima’s love, as a birthday present for her. And the Adagio of Brahms’s First Piano Concerto combines pathos and autumnal tenderness in equal measure. In dedicating it to the widow of Robert Schumann, Brahms wrote: “I am painting a tender portrait of you.” And so it is.
Pressed, I would advise my friend to seek out Mahler and Brahms for the most luminescent of “moody food,” Shakespeare’s trope for the music of love. To plumb untapped geysers of feeling, to absorb arabesques of sound which are untranslatable but still intelligible – such are the rewards of imbibing the “communion wafers” of art, as Saul Bellow put it. The rewards cause all materialist reductions of art to ring hollow.
I would urge her to experience Mimi and Rodolfo’s duet in Puccini’s La Boheme; the saccharine libretto fails to reflect the perfect fusion of music, words and feeling which must be heard to be believed:
Now my treasury has been robbed
by two thieves: a pair of pretty eyes.
Tonight, they came in with you,
and stole my dreams of the past.
I think also of the radiant, intoxicating musical conversation of Pinkerton and Cio-Cio-San in Puccini's Madama Butterfly, or Verdi’s Desdemona and Otello:
Your tears ennobled my story,
Your lovely face trembled; your lips sighed, and made my darkness a glory, a paradise, and I was blessed by the stars...
From your dark face, I saw the eternal beauty of your spirit shine.
I think of Saint-Saens’s Samson et Dalila, and Dalila’s declaration, “With your voice, my heart unfolds.” I try not to dwell on Puccini’s characterization of Tosca, who comes across as an insufferable manic depressive, or on Turandot, whose star is a veritable femme fatale, murdering male volun
teers incapable of answering her riddles.I think of Emerson, who said, “I read for the lustres.” We listen for the lustres. Enjoying music in solitude raises the question of knowing, even partially, another human being, let alone one’s deepest self. Such revelatory knowing of another – often sudden, always unforgettable – is the subject of my favorite John Cheever story, “Pot of Gold.” Its concluding words strike that rarest ore, that apprehension in another person of the likeness hidden in oneself: “Here it was, here it all was, and the shine of the gold seemed to him then to be all around her arms.”
Tamino sings director Ingmar Bergman’s favorite line in The Magic Flute: “Does Pamina still live?” “Pamina, Pamina,” the chorus intones, “still lives.” “The answer comes,” Bergman writes, “quivering but hopeful…Pa-mi-na still lives. Love exists. Love is real in the world of human beings.”










